Make Sure You Stop! But NO Hammertime!

So we all have these dreams of how awesome our lives are going to be when we grow up. I don't know about you but I was going to be a lawyer-doctor-teacher-ballerina-baseball player-singer married to Donnie Wahlberg or Jon Bon Jovi. Weird how that didn't work out. I was also going to have four kids and houses all over the world so I could just go to which ever one I wanted when the place I was at was boring me...looking back now, it is easy to see how life always did bore me. Well, none of those well paying professions really caught hold partially because I was busy fucking off, partially because my parents didn't want to help pay for me to go to a real college partially because no professional baseball team was looking for a chubby mediocre female baseball player. I did however try my hand in the education business. I loved working with students. I worked in special education for 15ish years. Working in the actual "teacher" role was never my favorite...too many rules and too much paper work. Although I am not one who favors being told what to do, I loved working as a para because I actually worked hands on with my students. In 2013, my son had a terrible traumatic brain injury. I gave up working with my kids because more than anything being a Mom was what I loved. The last three years have been something of a rollercoaster in flames and Picasso piece of art; Hell on wheels but beauty in motion. Last week, my son had his second brain surgery. For about four days I felt good about it...I feel the worry and anxiety creeping back in. It started when he said his eyes feel like they were growing too big for his head, then the ringing came, then a headache...see to most people it means nothing...even to his surgeon. To me, I know this means his shunt is failing. So tonight we went in for an MRI. On the way in I passed out five mg of Ativan like they were M&Ms. Strangely, they didn't kick in right away. His Ativan journey started on the way out with a little giggle. Then came "We should have a family fun night!" This was followed by an explaination of how we could go to Target and have a light saber fight and "FREEZE!" anytime someone came near us. We were suppose to let them come near us then STOP! but not Hammertime. After, we were to go to dinner and show everyone how we are the most "somistomufacated" people who have ever eaten without our suits on. We can do that eating without our elbows on the table and napkins on our lap. As the finale' we were to go see "the best movie ever." During which we were to have a popcorn fight and throw Milk Duds at each other as weapons. At the end we were to stand up and cheer. Now, One must remember, my son is sixteen. He was definitely high as a kite. We did stop at Target and have a light saber fight and freeze...we also wore masks. I don't understand why people were staring at us. His trip turned out not so hot though. On the way home, he started telling us about the future. I can't lie, it kind of freaked me out. He was CONVINCED it was 2024. If I didn't know better by the way he was telling me things, I would have believed him. It was creepy. He started crying so hard about not being able to save Daddy. He tried saving him when the bombers came and this and that...then realized Daddy was driving. Which scared him because it must have been the robots that had taken over. Now one looks just like Daddy. It took a good 3 hours to convince him Daddy was not a robot. However, whatever daydream (or whatever he had) has imprinted on him so I have a husband snoring (loudly) in my bed, a large sixteen year old having pain tremors and night terrors in the middle and I am teetering on the side waiting for the laundry to finish. Not sure why I didn't work harder for that really awesome job I was going to have when I was younger and where the hell all those excess houses are but I am pretty sure at least one of them has a California King I should be in right now because this is bullshit!